Perfect
by the fictional therapist
Summary: "You don't have to be 17 Katie,you just have to be brave." Ben had told her, but it wasn't until later that night that Kate realized what he had meant by it, or how it applied to her. When she figures it out she decides to stop being afraid, and to do what her instincts had been telling her all along.


Right, so, here this is.

Fairly Legal fanfic

Even as the first light of dawn over Lake Tahoe filtered through the heavy curtains across the window Kate Reed was still awake. Thoughts of Ben and their moment in the hot tub had kept her tossing, and her night had been consumed by what ifs. What if she hadn't stood him up for Justin? What if she hadn't lied to him about it? What if she'd done something in the hot tub?

It was that last one that really got to her. He had been right there, willing to give her everything she wanted from him, telling her that she needed to be brave with him, showing her the heart stone, and she hadn't done anything about it. He had been right in her face, his lips an inch away from hers, his breath whispering across her face, and she had just completely frozen, stood unmoving in his shadow while he waited for her to do something. And she hadn't done anything. She should have responded.

Kate sighed and twisted in bed, hoping for the hundredth time that night that just moving around in bed would give her the relaxation she craved. Again she was wrong. No matter how much she moved around, no matter what she did, pacing, reading, catching up on work, even playing games on her phone, all her thoughts returned to what she should have done when she was up to her knees in warm hot tub water. Ben had been so, so close, and she had thrown it all away with her stupid hang-ups and fears. She should have just grabbed him, pulled him close and never let go, sealed her lips to his, given him permission to do as he pleased and hung on for the ride. She should have been brave. Kate Reed was brave, almost to the point of recklessness.

If only she had been as brave with Ben as she was with Judge Nicastro, with clients who tried to push her around, then now she wouldn't be alone in her strange, too big bed, with just space all around her. If she hadn't been such a coward then there would have been a big, warm body behind her, a goofy, cocky grin on his face even in sleep, and there would have been no need to wonder about what sex with Ben would be like, she would have lived it.

She knew how his lips felt on hers, and she could imagine how gentle he would be if he didn't have to bully her into submission, when she willing gave herself over to him. His hands, which from experience she knew to be baby soft and smooth, would have roamed her body, encircling her tiny waist and marking every inch of skin as his own. She imagined the many other things he would do with his hands, things that would have her whimpering and begging for him to touch her properly, things that would have her screaming his name in pleasure, things that no ever man had ever done for her. Suddenly Kate was overly warm and frustrated, her pent-up arousal giving rise to a flush across her cheeks and butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Ben better be awake already, because if she didn't manage to fix things with him in the next few hours she was going to gain personal knowledge of whether or not a person could die of prolonged arousal.

Before she had time to change her mind she pulled back the covers and stood up, the wooden floor chilling her bare feet. Her nerve would only last so long, so she hurried out of the room with scarcely a glance back, not wanting to give up before she had tried. The confines of the room shifted into large open spaces as she rushed down the corridor, crossing the few feet between her room and Ben's seemingly instantaneously. If he had been asleep then it was highly likely she would have just gone back to bed, pretended it never happened and tried a little self-love to get rid of the incredible tension. But it seemed that fate was going in her favour, because as she approached the room she heard soft mutterings from within, her name mixed with several expletives and murmured curses.

So it seemed that she wasn't the only one whose mind seemed stuck on the moment in the hot tub, or the way it should have gone, which would have ended with them together in one room, one bed, having done everything they had fantasised about, instead of apart thinking about it.

Before her nerve ran out Kate pushed open the simple wooden door, coming face to face with a very annoyed, almost teary lawyer who stopped mere feet in front of her. Much to her chagrin the first thing the petite mediator noticed was the way his pyjama top clung seductively to his muscles, outlining his hulking form in grey cotton.

"What Ben, no silk?" She intended it to break the thick tension surrounding them, but the comment flew over the object of her desire's head, his anger and sadness covering up his sarcastic retorts. She really had messed this up big time.

He seemed to gather himself in front of her, pulling up to his full height before talking. Kate hadn't even realised he was hunched. "Kate, what's up? Come to heartlessly reject me again?" He dropped his usual affectionate Katie, and she felt its loss acutely painfully, in an almost agonising tightening in the centre of her chest. He folded his arms across his chest in his usual devil may care style, but it was clear in his positioning that she had hurt him deeply. His eyes were shining with unspent tears, showing her how much she had disturbed the great Ben Grogan, taking his obvious feelings for her and discarding them because she was afraid.

The last of her resolve trickled away with her response, leaving her frightened and alone in the doorway as she said it. "No, Ben, I'm here to be brave." Despite her fear, she was calm, like the way the sea stills before a storm. One way or another, this situation would be resolved, either with her and ben together or not. That realisation gave her a measure of strength, enough that she was able to stare Ben right in the eye as she continued. "You were right earlier, I was, I am, scared about this. I can't control you, and that terrifies me Ben. But, I, I care about you, and not in a platonic way. I've just been thinking about this since our moment, and I want this. I want you, Ben."

She stood perfectly still as he pondered her statement, a small creases appearing between his brows as he regarded her. She looked like a child, hugging her arms around her middle to protect herself from possible hurt.

Pale blue eyes flicked up to chocolate brown ones with a look of finality. Whatever decision he had reached, whichever path this night was going to take, it was now decided. It was entirely possible that a good portion of her future had just been plotted put for her by those stormy blue eyes. Kate shuddered and wrapped her arms tighter around herself.

"You wanna be brave, Katie? Then be brave." With that he stepped forward, enveloping her minute frame in his much larger one, invading her personal space until there wasn't an inch left between them. A finger ran under her chin, lifting her head so her eyes were staring into his, their lips barely a breath apart as he leaned down to her. Every puff of air from his mouth ghosted over her face, a promise of what was to come.

"Once we do this Katie, there's no going back. However this turns out, for better or worse, we can never pretend it didn't happen. Are you sure you want to do this?"

The affirmative reply was murmured into his mouth, her arms reaching up behind his neck to pull his soft lips down onto hers. Their kiss was gentle, a statement of intent. His lips brushed hers slowly and gently, barely a whisper of a touch. She could feel how much passion he had restrained behind the solid seal of his lips, and how much he was holding back to keep her from fleeing yet again. A coil was tightening low in her stomach, her arousal so sharp it was almost painful, the brush of his lips adding kindling to the fire and fanning the flames. She needed more, and she needed it now.

The next time he applied his gentle pressure she yanked him down into her forcefully, his lips wetly smacking against hers, separating around them and passionately claiming her. Having given him permission to do as he wanted she felt Mr Grogan ardently reposition his body around hers, curling his form even further around hers, pressing her chest into his stomach and running his hands down her back. They both closed their eyes at the feel of each other. When his warm, huge hands fell to the bottom of her spine, his long fingers groping at her ass, Kate gasped against him, opening her mouth under his lips. He quickly responded, his long, sarcastic tongue flicking through her lips to plunder her desperately, to cover his taste buds in her overly sweet taste. Kate returned his action, tasting a hint of coffee and mountain air surrounded by a tang of something that was uniquely Ben.

As their tongues slinked and battled against each other their hands roamed across each other's backs, Ben's centring mainly on the ass that he had admired for so long, and Kate finally feeling the his densely packed, tight muscles under her hands. The hands on her ass pulled her into him, and she felt exactly how much he wanted her, from the thick, long column of flesh that pressed enticingly into the throb between her thighs. Her eyes flew open at the sensation and she gasped, pulling back from his lips and pressing harder into his pants.

"Katie, what's wrong?" He was worried she could hear it in his voice, worried that she was leaving him yet again, afraid of what might happen if she gave in.

"Nothing's wrong, I, I, I just need _more_. More of this, more of you, just more." She gasped, her arousal making breathing steadily difficult if not impossible.

He gave her that cocky grin; the one that she now knew from experience was entirely justified, and lowered his head back down to hers.

"Your wish is my command, Katie." He whispered as he pulled her up to his eye level, his hands stabilising her ass while she wrapped her legs high on his waist, her centre resting against his solid abs while his engorged need for her pressed under her ass. They were still joined sloppily in a messy, frantic kiss when Ben walked them over to his king sized, attractively furnished bed. He set her down gently amongst the pillows, drawing back to stare at her prone form before sliding over her, his knees on either side of her hips.

Their kiss resumed sloppily, lips and tongues and teeth mashing into each other as the lawyers' self-assurance grew, their passion increasing with every brush of tongues, every tug of teeth over lips. Without a doubt it was the best kiss she had ever had, and if his grunts and manly whimpers were any indication it had to be great for him too. Despite the arousal that still built and coiled as his legs tangled with hers, Kate would have happily kept kissing him for the rest of the night, grateful to finally feel his mouth on hers without pretences or fear.

Ben had other ideas.

His hands slid up her stomach, raising goose bumps in his wake, before gently cupping the breasts that had enthralled him for so long. For such a tiny woman she knew that she really had been gifted with large breasts, her chest pushing out and filling his hands. Even through her sleep shirt she could feel the way her nipples pressed into his thumbs as he pressed over her, the solid nubs poking up. She stilled and gasped into his mouth, the repetitive motion building small ripples of pleasure in the pit of her stomach and between her thighs.

However good this felt, it would feel even better when her damned shirt was out of the way, her bare skin under his probing, questing fingers. Ben seemed to have read her mind.

He kept his lips joined to Katie's, kissing her with ever increasing fervour. But when he pulled at the hem of her long sleeved shirt she regained control of her arms, reached down and stilled his overeager, shaking hands. He pulled back and stared at her, his blue eyes boring into her in question.

"Katie?"

"It's not fair for me to lose my shirt if you don't lose yours." She deadpanned. Ben sagged with relief, sat back on his haunches and ripped his shirt over his head, tossing the grey cotton into some far corner. It would be recovered at some point the following morning.

Game on.

His warm hands drifted back up over her stomach, taking her shirt with them. This time she didn't complain. In fact, apart from leaning forward to aid the shirt's removal she could scarcely move at all, her chest heaving with a combination of anticipation and the gentle pleasure his appraising eyes were already giving her. His eyes were filled with awe, staring up at her from lower down on the bed. He really did think she was different. That warmed her heart as well as adding to the throbbing between her legs. She was getting wetter by the second as Ben stared at her, his eyes drifting across her, focusing on her kiss bruised lips and erect nipples, and then down to what she presumed to be an increasingly large wet patch. He made her feel amazingly sexy, like she was a masterpiece hung up in the Louvre.

She appraised him as well, her eyes drifting down his solid, toned muscles, his defined pecs and abs, the waistband of his pj bottoms, and of course the prominent bulge of his cock underneath. It was a very prominent bulge. Very, very prominent. Damn he was big.

"See something you like, Katie?" He was very cocky, but now she could see that it was completely justified. Kate nodded the affirmative. There was definitely something she really, really liked.

"Mmhm." She confirmed.

"Oh?" He questioned, one eyebrow lifting in a very Grogan gesture.

"Ben." Kate warned. No matter how aroused she was, how painful it was to deny him when he was right there, he could still annoy her by reverting to his cocky self. Even if she did want to take that cocky nature and… "I want you Ben."

"I know Katie, I know, just tell me how you want to do this." His arousal was evident in both his pants and his eyes, but she could tell how much he was restraining himself for her, holding back to wait for her.

The ball was in her court now.

"Ditch those awful pants for a start." She ordered, her voice finding a new strength and resolve from the control he had given her. Grey fabric was thrown somewhere across the room only seconds later. Kate gulped.

Before her, completely naked, was the kneeling form of Benedict Grogan, lawyer extraordinaire. His stomach was rigid with gym obtained muscle, his biceps filled out equally well. But what really drew her attention was the huge erection that sprung from between his legs, long and hard enough that the tip touched his stomach, precum glistening on the tip as it stood proud in front of her.

It took all of the mediator's admittedly lacking self-control to keep from staring at it, her mouth falling open as a consolation. Her night had brightened up a hell of a lot.

"What now, Katie?" Ben asked, the strain evident in his voice as he tried to concentrate despite the erection bobbing against his abs.

"Now Ben I want you to come up here and get rid of my awful pants." Before she had finished he was upon her, his huge hands sliding down her sides as his lips reclaimed hers and his fingers pushed down on her waistband. They moaned in stereo at the feel of her bare ass in his hands, and her pants were discarded in record time after that.

He lined up with her soon after, his tip brushing against the sensitive bundle of nerves above her core, and she almost blacked out from the feel of him. Ben's hand came up and stroked at her cheek, and she nuzzled into it affectionately. He was regarding her with that look again, the one that let him see right through her façade to the very core of her.

"Are you sure?" She nodded. He brushed his finger oh so gently against the sensitive skin around her core and she bucked against his hand, wetness covering his fingers. "You're certainly ready for me Katie, but this still might hurt a bit, 'cause I'm pretty big and you're really small. But I will make this good for you Katie, I promise." He pushed forward slightly, opening her with his tip, before pulling back abruptly with a shout. Kate's heart stopped.

"Shit! I forgot to ask! Are you, you know, protected Katie? Or do I need to get something? I was so wrapped up in you I forgot about that." He smiled endearingly at her, and she was so relieved that he hadn't rethought the idea of them that she forgave him immediately for his mood ruining talk of contraceptives.

"It's ok Ben, I got it covered." He smiled gratefully and repositioned himself at her entrance, not-so-little Ben's huge head pushing slightly into her. Hips tilted forward and an inch disappeared inside of her, a slightly surreal image created of something very large being absorbed by something very small. Another hip roll and another inch disappeared.

Then another.

Then another.

He was four inches deep within her before they started to encounter any real problems, his penetration, while stretching, being excruciatingly pleasurable rather than painful. With the fifth inch he seemed to get wider, forcing her open to a new level as he went in. The sixth inch was even wider, and by the time his complete 7 and a half inch length was inside of her, her core muscles were stretched almost to the point of tearing, and the excruciating pleasure was combined with a slight tang of pain. She had never taken a guy as big as Ben, and her muscles were taking their sweet time getting used to it. Ben had stilled when she pulled back from the pain.

"Are you ok Katie?" he was strained and aroused, but she could still tell he was worried for her. It was endearing. Kate reached her hand up and stroked along his stubbly jaw, his face tilting into her palm as they looked each other in the eyes.

"I'm fine. Just, just go slowly." Kate showed she meant it by gently rolling her hips against his. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. They gasped in stereo, her tight sheath clenching as his cock pushed even deeper.

She was already close, the brush of his base along her clit racing her towards the edge. If the jerks and flutters along his length were any indication he was close too, and holding back for her. She couldn't have that.

"I, I'm really close Ben. Really close." she whimpered for his benefit.

He thrust into her again, harder, and she moaned with all her might.

"What do you need? Anything, I'll do it." Ben moaned out through clenched teeth, his lips still resting against hers even though their kisses had been abandoned in favour of driving themselves higher.

"More, more."

Ben obliged her request, thrust in a faster and faster rhythm as she started to tremble around him. The edge of her climax was so close she could taste it, when, from out of nowhere, a spot was stimulated inside her by her lover's actions that threw her over the edge with enough force to launch her to the stars. A scream echoed around the Lake Tahoe cabin. Sheath muscles clenched painfully around an already over stimulated erection, and a second scream sounded in the night as her partner joined her in orgasm.

Their hips still rolled lazily against each other, continuing the aftershocks until they were both sated and sweaty, curled around each other, too weak to move. Ben slipped out of her gently, then spooned into her back in the most loving gesture she had ever known from him.

"Well, that was…" Kate started, but there was no word in her mind that was quite right for the description.

"Stupendous, amazing, exhilarating?" Ben suggested helpfully.

"Perfect." She replied. "Absolutely perfect."

And with that she turned and snuggled against her partner's chest, a place she was sure to be returning to many, many times in the future.


End file.
